


In the end (it doesn't even matter)

by miciatoby



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Apocalypse, Mental Health Issues, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26525356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miciatoby/pseuds/miciatoby
Summary: Some of my protagonists' thoughts ;)-Apocalypse can sound scary right? Well, I promise you, being in a room with this short man punching me after having saved my ass can be even scarier. What I did? I kissed him 💋 --He really need to find the strength to fight this, without leaning on his other self. He has not time to question his identity now. Now it's about live or die. And he was ready to help the younger--Wasn't he an annoying guy 🙄? --They needed food or his friend would change in a zombie even without being bitten. He could not risk it--He really couldn't stop himself to be around the positive ball of sunshine. He found himself staring more than once. He wondered if Dodo would approve it--His friend was and idiot, he is lucky they found this place where hiding for the moment. But they need to go, or everyone would be in danger--Now it was no time to cry on themselves. He needed to find the words to give courage to his new friends-Guess who is the annoying one? ;)Actually I'm not really sure where this story is leading me, but Ki and Hyungwon's characters are taking the lead.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware that I put the transgender tag because there is a charachter who wears female clothes and feel safer being a female. It's more like a mental issue for him.  
> I don't want to make anyone mad nor be superficial with this topic, because I support the LGBT+ community. So please of you have something to tell me, any suggestion or things that make you uncomfortable, please write it down on comments. I'm open to criticism that help me to improve.
> 
> Also, english is not my first language.

The doctor  
The short male doctor heard a loud crash on the door of 'his house' and, suddenly allarmed, moved closer to it, a gun on his right hand. It was strange, 'they' have not this kind of attitude, so it could mean only one thing: someone was trying to take possession of his refuge. He couldn't permit it, not now that he collected enough medical supplies to last through all of it. Not when he spotted a can food factory few kilometers away, with enough food to survive to this apocalypse. No. Kihyun couldn't permit it, so he was ready to fight for his belongings and his life.  
-We have guns, you better be ready to die before getting in- he shouted toward the door, bluffing.  
He didn't receive a reply, so he thought they went away, but after few seconds, he heard a loud thump, followed by a whisper similar to an help request. After it only silence.  
The short male thought to turn shoulders to the door and go back in studying his maps to find a way to arrive to the factory alive. He had already weeks to understand how the Things moved, he knew it was not only question of luck, that they followed a routine, unless something or someone would catch their attention. Then the hunt would start.  
So he really wanted to re read his maps and be ready for the day after, he was growing short of food after all. But the doctor in him had the best, again. He couldn't leave the tall girl, yes he peeked from the door hole to see who was trying to get in, laying there like this. What if she needed medical attentions? Even in a situation like this, he couldn't avoid to stop himself from helping who was suffering. So, without leaving his gun behind, he wasn't sure yet it was not a trick to make him go out, and who knows, maybe someone was ready to attack him- yes he was starting to be paranoid there, he opened the door.  
No one on sight. The girl was truly alone and from the bleeding on her skirt, she needed help. Trying to be the most gentle possible, but to do it fastly, Kihyun dragged her in. She was pretty heavy, even if she was one of the most slim-bony- girl he ever met.  
He tried to ignore the crushing pain on his heart when, inevitably, his mind was filled with his twin sister memory. YeoJoo. They used to fight all the time, but always taking each other sides in tricky situations.  
Blood. She started to cough blood few days after being bitten by one of them. They already knew what it meant. The dangerous substance that made all humans sick, it was contagious and being bitten lead almost always to death. She asked him to kill her before she could change, he promised it.  
She was a really religious person, both of them were, so they promised to kill the other one if something similar would happen, before they could lose their humanity. They didn't want to suicide, it would be so much worse in the sight of God.  
God.. ah.. what kind of God would permit all of it?  
Kihyun bitten his lower lip and shook his head. No. He needed to focus on his task, he could think about her later, before sleeping.  
The male excused himself and started to check on the girl, carefully exploring every inch of her to be sure there were no bite marks on her skin, before starting to treat her wounds. While he was checking on her neck, he discovered that something was not right. The girl was wearing a wig. A wig? He took it off, slightly confused. Maybe he was right? This person was hiding his identity, was she being a bait? He couldn't know, so he tried to focus instead on the female's wound. Again apologising, he lifted the skirt, knowing the bleeding was coming from underneath it. He was faced to a bleeding penis. He couldn't stop himself to frown, the pretty girl was a male then?  
-Focus on your task Ki!- he scolded himself and started to treat the light wounds there. Luckily it was nothing too serious, the guy wouldn't lose the use of it, nor have any kind of infection, because he would put him under antibiotics. Then he turned the man and his face lost all of his colour. The butt was covered with bloody writing, terrible words who would be forever scarred on the young male rear. Kihyun exhaled and started to work on it. First he tried to understand if the male was raped, but luckily he wasn't. At least it, he thought. Then, while biting his inner cheek, he started to 'scratch', with his sterilised mess, on the words, knowing he needed to somehow erase the hateful words.  
-I'm sorry, it's the only way.. -he whispered, grateful he gave him a strong painkiller before he started it, because it was more messy than he thought.  
Once he was done with the cleaning, he put bandages there too.  
He finally moved a pillow under the sleeping male cheek, hoping to lessen the discomfort of sleeping on his side, on a cold and hard floor.  
He went to his room where he looked for some clothes. He burnt all of his sister belongings, so he really had nothing feminine to give to him. He found a pair of trouser and a large shirt and he put it next to the tall one, knowing he would probably sleep until late on the day.  
Quietly he went back to read his maps, knowing too well that now more than before he needed food.


	2. Dodo

Dodo

She opened eyes after few hours, the sun was still brightening the big house. She looked around, a little confused. Her memories were fogged. She remembered she went out when his best friends were not coming back, to look for them, then everything went blurry. How did she arrive to this house?   
She tried to sit, but pain pierced through her lower body, like an electrical shock.   
-What the hell happened?- she said in her usual low voice.   
She heard someone rushing in her direction and worried to be attacked she got up.   
A shocked short man was staring down at her half naked body.  
-Shit! Why am I naked?- the faster she can, she covered with a blanket, many question on the tip of her tongue.  
-I put some clothes on the couch. I'll suggest for you to not put pants or anything else on. Your rear and penis are really in a bad state- calmly the stranger instructed her, before turning and going away.  
-Wait! What happened? Why am I here? Who are you?- she asked, totally concerned, as she step closer to the shorter and hold him by his shoulder.  
The other reacted with a jump, not really used to be touched.  
-Follow me in the kitchen, I'd tell you what I know while eating. You are too skinny to survive for longer without food- he whispered as he sneaked off.  
She stared for a bit, before looking for her clothes and wig. The skirt was totally ruined with blood and cut, but stubborn as she was, she put it on. She couldn't let go of this side of her. Not now that she was with a stranger and she needed to go back to find the others.  
So she put on her back clothes, even if with the hint of disgust, and her wig.  
Dodo. She was Dodo. She could do it.

It came out she couldn't in the end. Once the young doctor told him what happened, he couldn't wear Dodo's clothes, Dodo strong self anymore. He came back to be the useless Hyungwon.  
Kihyun saw the transformation happening under his sight and it was the strangest thing he ever saw. He thought the tall female in front of him was a transgender. Maybe they were it. Maybe. But they didn't know well what they were.   
Suddenly the confident female was gone and the.. how to call it? The kid? Yes he looked exactly like a lost kid. The kid was left behind.

After minutes, hours in Hyungwon mind, the doctor talked. - You really should eat. I can see you starved for days. We can talk about everything later..- he smiled gently.   
Hyungwon took a bite of the soft bread, then he started to fill his mouth with bigger pieces, fastly. He choked a pair of times, luckily Kihyun was there with a glass of water, telling him to slow down.   
While eating his brain was processing how the short man had food, how could he have enough food to even share it?   
Suddenly he stopped to eat, the chopsticks made a loud noise on the dish.   
Kihyun looked at the other one, head a little tilted on the left, waiting for the man to talk, but only silence were weighting on them like a rock.  
-Did something happened?- Kihyun stopped to eat, waiting.  
The doctor was not surprised by the loud sob escaping from the tall guy lips. Shock was suddenly hitting on him, it always happened with a violence so strong as the one he suffered.  
The guy became fastly a crying mess, refusing to talk and even if Kihyun always thought he was a pretty patient person -not in his sister point of view, he remembered YeoJoo was always scolding him for the opposite, but again, not the time to think about her- it was clear by the noise of dishes he pulled off the table that he was slightly irritated by the other.  
-Talk boy. I can't read mind yet- he sighed out, hoping the stressed guy would stop to cry.  
After more tears, the tall man, now totally raw, voice asked for help.  
-I need to find my friends- he standed up, hands shaking. No, all his body was shaking.  
Kihyun sighed again, his kindness was fastly coming back changed in a big pain in the ass. -You can't move. Your butt is in a pretty bad shape and really I can see how malnutrition made your muscles weak. You can't go-  
Hyungwon's eyes were staring deeply at him, trying to connect with his soul, before few words left his lips. -Doctor please, find them. It's all what i have left..- eyes unfocused for a moment, as Hyungwon remembered the old days. 

He was staring at the mirror, a sudden force finally gave him enough strength to be confident. She was pretty, she was strong and she had no fear anymore to go out. His parents didn't understand it. They called him crazy, they wanted the pathetic Hyungwon back. No. No. It was impossible. She didn't care if she would be alone forever, at least she could finally take care of herself. A smile suddenly appeared in front of her.  
-Woah Hyungwon you are really pretty!- the boy was showing his dimples.  
-Jooheon we shouldn't call her like this. We need to find her a new name!- quietly the other guy talked, gently patting her shoulder.  
This is how Dodo was accepted by her friends, who never looked at her differently, no. They were happy because she was finally free from her demons.  
But now Dodo was gone, the same happened to her friends. Hyungwon was all alone, in a stranger place and in the middle of apocalypse..  
-Kihyun. I'm Kihyun- the young doctor stared at him straightly. He had no time to go to a rescue mission, but he had to go out to collect food, right? So maybe he could keep open eyes and see if he could find them. He listened to the boy, trying to give faces to the features he was describing. -Alright. I'll keep eyes open. But you go to rest now. I should be back tomorrow around this hour. There is food hidden behind the books in the library. Don't touch my medical equipment. Take this pill when the sun sets. It's a painkiller, you need it, boy.- the short male tried to sound bossy, to be sure the other would follow his directions.   
-Hyungwon- simply said the other. -I'm Hyungwon. Thank you for helping me Kihyun- he whispered, drying his tears with a palm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give me feedbacks, I started to write it again after months and I really am not sure about what will happen, nor if I'm doing a good job portraying them 🙈


End file.
